Do you know the best cure for anything needing curing??  Love. Giving and receiving.  Love is all you need.  It works like nothin’ else.  As daunting as it was to pick myself up and move forward with living my day to day, I had made a promise to myself to ‘give back’ at a South African foundation for HIV+ children, and although the children didn’t know of my promise, I knew we would both be better for it if I followed through.   I had made contact with Lauren, a New York ex-pat living in Cape Town and working as Programs Coordinator at Ubuntu, and she graciously offered to pick me up and take me to the center in Khayelitsha where I would spend time with the children and learn more about the organization.  So off we went on a half hour 15km car ride away from the gorgeous scenery of mountain cliffs and sparkling blue water that is Cape Town, and into the poor, shack-built township of Khayelitsha.

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There is no order here.  There are no street signs. There is nothing green.  There is dirt, sand, timber and sheet metal shacks, concrete blocks, starving dogs that look like X-rays  roaming the landscape, and black people walking, sitting, standing, looking….the only sign of life against the beigeness of the scenery.  I felt instantly unsafe and wondered how they felt.  There were young children, unsupervised, walking.  There were women walking alone.  Were they in danger? How would they know? During our 30 minute ride I learned from Lauren that HIV+ children are born from HIV+ mothers that could easily (I say that with a grain of salt, kinda) have avoided transferring the virus if they had been educated and had been given health services that would have stopped the transfer.  The virus is transferred only through vaginal and rectal secretions, semen, vaginal births, blood, and mothers’ breast milk. It is transferred through the mucous membranes of an open cut or sore to a non-HIV+ person.   There is a very remote risk of contracting the virus through saliva, tears, or open mouth kissing because the antibodies found in saliva or tears carry such a small amount of the virus for it to be sustainable, according to the CDC.  According to a UK based HIV/AIDS organization, the saliva exchanged in a kiss could not transfer the virus; only bleeding from gums or mouth sores would carry the risk.  The virus doesn’t live on the skin so touching someone that is HIV+ is no risk.

So basically, if the mothers’ delivered their babies through cesarean section, the babies would have been free of the virus.  Breast feeding these babies causes another level of concern, because there is no access to alternative milk products for the poor.  Sometimes the risk of passing on the virus through breastfeeding is the better alternative than having the child die of starvation. That’s been a hard one to wrap my head around, but I have seen with my own eyes how HIV+ children can thrive and live long, happy, productive lives.  This is where Ubuntu Africa comes in.

We pulled up to a 2-story concrete yellow painted building with windows and metal grates and a locked iron gate in front.  Lauren got out and unlocked the gate for us to go inside and instructed me to take everything from the car or it would not be there when we got back.  She said all this with a smile. This is daily life here, and her smile was the gateway to the children.  Arms and bodies wrapped around Lauren instantly as she let us into the center.  The smiles of children lit up the room and lifted my heart.  The ugliness of  poor living conditions and health issues gave way to the beauty of spirit, joy, song, dance, playfulness, and laughter. There is no physical evidence of sickness here. There is only giggling and hugging and smiles. I was overwhelmed.  Lauren introduced me to the kids and they accepted me lovingly into their worlds with hugs.  They wrapped their little arms around my waist, my arms and my hands.  The little ones wanted to be picked up and snuggled with.  The teenagers shook my hand and gave a smile.  They were all happy.  My own problems easily melted away.

Lauren had asked what I would like to do with the children during my time here.  I could take them outside and do a game, I could read, I could teach them songs or dance.  This day was the last before their summer break, so it was atypical from their regular schedules.  They would still be getting a hot nutritious meal as they do every day, but it was more of a “free” day to relax and play.  Usually, they arrive at the center by Ubuntu transport after their school day ends around 3pm and they stay until 6pm when they are transported home.  While they are at the center, they are provided with health care through the staff nurse, meds, counseling, HIV education, and Life Skills.  They are always provided a hot meal as it is sometimes the only meal they get during the day. But more than all of this, they are given love and the belief that they matter.  They are all individuals who are treated as such.  They learn that they have so much to offer and can set their sights on their future.  They learn how to live with this virus amongst all the rest of the world without it interfering with their dreams.  And maybe, they learn that it is good to dream and believe that they can someday live those dreams.

I chose to not separate myself from the children at the start of the day, but rather to sit amongst them and learn with them.  One of their instructors led a singing session where he got their voices loud and competing which broke into laughter. They sung many songs and I tried to sing along not knowing the language.  He added dance with the song, and made such funny moves that the kids giggled constantly.  I loved watching them and dancing with them.  The voices of these kids are strong and clear.  It’s a beautiful thing to hear. When that session was done, the large group broke up into smaller groups.  I sat on the floor and many of the younger kids came over to me. They wanted to touch me.  My hands, my hair.  They wanted to look at me and smile, and watch me smile back.  They wanted to lie on me, hug me.  They all wanted a piece of me, and the feeling was mutual.  This was pure love.  It lifted me up to a place I needed to get back to, where I believed the world was good and that people are good.  It’s amazing what human touch can do for the soul.  I will absolutely reach out and touch or hug someone (if they’ll let me) more often now knowing better the power that it has.

We played hand games I had learned as a child…Miss Mary Mac, Mac, Mac…All dressed in black, black black…They all wanted to learn and they all wanted their turn.  They loved my camera and took turns taking pictures with it.  They liked seeing themselves on the screen. Most of my pictures are taken by them.  They played under the table, they made games out of nothing, time went by and we were all safe and happy.  I noticed that there wasn’t any fighting amongst these kids.  There must’ve been 40 or 50 kids in this small place, ranging from ages 4 through 18, and there wasn’t any meanness or pettiness going on.  There was drama amongst the teens, but the fun kind, like telling secrets and giggling, running from one room to another and laughing.  In the kitchen, the women were cooking wonderful chicken dishes, vegetables and potatoes. It smelled heavenly. The meals were given out at different times to groups of kids based on age.   They each took their bowls and came back to wherever they had been sitting or playing.  When finished, they brought their bowls into the kitchen.

When it was time to go, we all hugged and said our goodbyes.  Their hugs and smiles are their gifts to me that I will keep within me in a place I will draw from when I’m feeling lonely or down.  There is such beauty in their smiles and hope in my heart that more children can get access to organizations like Ubuntu Africa that make such a huge difference in their lives.  It is always easier to connect with an organization when you’ve visited and seen first hand the work that they do and the difference they make, but if you visit their website (click here or visit http://www.ubafrica.org)  and you are moved to help, please know that this organization is really making a difference and you would be directly helping the lives and well-being of the children that you see pictured with me here as well as many more who are deserving of a chance at a better life.

Now, look at these faces and fall in love with their beauty, like I did.

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