It’s unimaginable to think of making the long trek to Australia and not experiencing The Great Barrier Reef. It was definitely on my hit list, but when I researched it, I wasn’t loving the towns that border it – they all seemed a bit cheesy, young, and touristy.  So I decided the best way to do this would be to avoid the towns and sail around the Whitsunday Islands on a boat for a few days.  Yesss!  Already, my pulse was racing as I searched for the best boating options.  There are many, from 26-person catamarans to 60-person cruises to high-speed boats.  Most of them allowed snorkeling, but few of them provided for scuba diving. I had planned to get my Open Water Diver certification in Byron Bay, so diving was a requirement on any boat I picked, and I settled on a 3-day, 2-night cruise aboard the Kiana, a 60-ft schooner that sails the Whitsunday Islands with 14 passengers and 3 crew.

I decided to arrive 3 days prior to the boat trip and stay in a gorgeous place in Shute Harbour where I would lie on the beautiful beaches and dip myself into the gentle surf of the aquamarine-blue waters.  That was the plan. I mean, I could see the beaches were phenomenal, and I was basically drooling at the thought of the cool, delicious water I would bask in.  Y’all saw the pictures, right? I saw it with my own eyes, so I would’ve bet my first-born that it was as I assumed (sorry Michael – I’m quite sure I would win you back somehow).  When it looks too good to be true…it usually is. Unbeknownst to me, this part of Australia is off limits for beaching and bathing during the summer months because the sea is filled with boxed jellyfish, aka stingers, aka fucked-up little devils that ruin your plans for swimming in the Great Barrier Reef without a wetsuit and a hoodie!!  Ummm…yeah, gorgeous water that will never touch your skin unless you’re willing to risk your life – the stingers are deadly.  I was speechless when I found this out.  No one advertises this fact.  Who would come here?!  Obviously, this is the best kept secret of The Great Barrier Reef (GBR, ok?). Those 3 days in Shute Harbor couldn’t end quick enough so I could get on that boat, be surrounded by people, and at least be ON the water, knowing I would eventually be IN it wearing a 1 mil nylon stocking over my head and entire body with a little cutout for my eyes, nose and mouth.  The only saving grace was that ALL of us looked as ridiculous as the next, and you couldn’t tell anyone apart.  Any humility was lost within the first 5 minutes of donning the required alien-suit.  I could understand the wetsuit, especially to keep your body warm for extended periods in the water, but the hoodie was just …ugh.  It’s kinda like having to ride a bike with a helmet on. Half the fun of riding is to feel the wind through your hair, ya know?  But whatever…no one, including me, was risking their life. Actually, risking your life wasn’t an option on the Kiana.  They wouldn’t allow you in the water without being properly suited up.

Alien wetsuits required for entry into the water – sorry, no pic of me.

The Kiana is an excellent adventure boat to tour the GBR on.  Brent the skipper, Jeff the cook, and Cindy the dive instructor are all completely professional, well-trained, and have the perfect character to add to the entertainment factor on board.  The sleeping accommodations are like being back in camp, although even tighter, so you get to know people pretty quickly in this intimate environment.  I slept with 5 other people in the front berth – I had the left top single bunk with  a double bed just below me and the same on the right side, about 5 feet away. The back berth had the same arrangement, and there was one singe berth in the middle of the boat that held 2 people while the other 3 were in the main cabin.   Surprisingly, there was no snoring, no farting, no sex (that would have been more awkward than the prior “no”s), and everyone was very well-behaved and respectful.  There were 2 full baths on the boat, and each person was allowed one 2-minute shower per day.  Completely doable. As were the three full days of snorkeling, diving, sunning, sleeping, reading, eating, and of course drinking, but only after dives or snorkels were completed for the day.

Boarding The Kiana

Jeff the cook giving us a briefing.

Brent the skipper giving us more briefings.

Just left the harbor and making our way out to sea.

The cast of characters aboard the Kiana ranged from 20’s to 50’s, couples to singles to sisters to friends, and diverse nationalities.  We were 3 Americans (me from NY and 2 sisters from LA), a couple from Melbourne, 2 friends from Germany, a couple from Denmark, a guy from Austria, 2 guys from the UK, and a couple from Beijing, China. Everyone in the world speaks English, and being amongst these people from all over the world made me feel pretty embarrassed that I only speak one language while they speak at least 2, usually more, fluently. We are so egocentric in this country and the rest of the world laughs at it.  Even though they admittedly look to us for everything – from music to movies to products to celebrities to fashion….but let’s not discuss education or healthcare.  We just suck in those areas.   I truly hope someone has the gumption to stand up and be heard and make a difference in these areas.  I wish I knew the answers – its complicated, but it’s soooo apparent we need a complete overhaul of these failing systems.  Just saying.

Su, from Bejing. She gets the Highest Achievement award, because she discovered her love of scuba diving on this trip and it was wonderful to watch her explode with excitement!

Penny & Bonnie, sisters from LA. Penny had 2 underwater cameras and shared them with me. Thanks Penny!

Sandra from Denmark, tall blonde, beautiful, and smart too!!

This is Martin, from Germany.  His patience is greatly appreciated for allowing me to step on him to get down from my bunk at 5am due to nature calling.

The first day we spent most of the morning being briefed about the boat, safety issues, what was expected of us and what we could expect on our 3-day sail. We set off for Whitehaven Beach, the most beautiful beach in the world (ok, try challenging me once you’ve seen the pics).  The sand is made of quartz which gives it its bright white color, and the sea is so turquoise and shallow in parts that it’s constantly changing with the tides.  It’s dreamy and surreal. It’s also very salty – not good for burned lips, but good for floating.

Kiana Route Map

Kiana bouyed at Whitsunday Island where we took the dingy to the land and hiked over the hill to WhiteHaven Beach.

Whitsunday Island – not the white beach side, silly.

Woo Hoooo!!

1st glimpse of Whitehaven Beach

Makes me smile.

Cindy, our Dive Master, always the goofball.

Whitehaven Beach

Whitehaven Beach

Just the water….

No words….

My loves…

Me & Stefan, from Austria, sans hoodies.

We spent 3 hours on Whitehaven beach just sitting in the water and resting on the beach. Then we made our way back to the boat and sailed on to Hook Island, where we had dinner and spent the night rocking gently in a protected cove.  I slept like a baby.  Seriously.  I had a little open window next to my top bunk which gifted me with quiet, soothing breezes throughout the night, and access to the first morning light. We were woken up at 6am for brekky and had to get suited up for diving at 7:00.

Yeah, about the diving.  Are we really back to this?  I didn’t do it.  I just wasn’t feeling like stressing out over something that’s NOT necessary.  And as it turns out, the snorkeling was FUCKING FANTASTIC!!!  Under the sea (dada da da da da da da)…The Little Mermaid song is still in my brain…but seriously, it was Disney under water.  The colors were exaggerated by the sunlight streaming through the water.  The fish were brilliant and surreal and so calm and unbothered by us floating on top of them.  The coral was soo interesting – sooo many different kinds creating walls of reef that thousands of different creatures call home.  The slower you go, the more you see. Parrot fish, white-tipped sharks, huge sea turtles swimming slowly through the water…clown fish – aka Nemo – I can’t even remember the names of most of them.  There were so many schools of small and large species making their way somewhere, I don’t know where, but following their leaders through the sea, sometimes being chased by bigger fish. There was one fish in particular that our crew knows personally from going to this same area of the reef, and they’ve named him Albert.  He’s a large, colorful fish that stays by the boat and actually comes up to our dive instructor when she’s sitting on the ladder and gives her his side to pet. I’m totally not kidding.  This fish kept coming up to the top, turning on its side, and Cindy would stroke him as he went back down. Crazy!! I tried to get pics but couldn’t get the timing right.  I had no idea fish had a memory or feelings such that they would interact with humans.  Guess I’m forced to look at fish differently now.  A little hard to think about this when it’s on my plate….depends how hungry I am.

Coral

Schools of fish

Gorgeous colors..

Under the sea….

I spotted him!! So elegant swimming through the sea.

Another one on the reef

How cool!

Too cool for school….he’s on his own.

Leopard fish?

I spy…..SHARK!!!

Bahh dummm…bah dumm…ba….dum

Amazing.

I’d like to be….under the sea…

The reef wall is like scaling mountains but being weightless.

Pretty fish

Just about 3 feet above the coral

Nemo!

This is Albert! He’s so cool and colorful!

Side shot of Albert

Beauty!

Cindy calling to Albert – see him just under the water coming up?

We spent the night out at Bait Reef under the most beautiful skies amidst billions of stars.  This whole trip was such a treat. Good for the soul.  I felt such tranquility and a peaceful happiness that I had been looking for…the sea is a magical place…

The air took on a hazy watercolor feeling and the sea and sky seemed to melt into each other. I swear these pics are all unaltered.

Breathtaking beauty everywhere.

Hazy, late afternoon at Bait Reef

Bait Reef.

The sky and the sea are just spectacular.

Sun going down….

And down…

…

Can’t stop clicking…

Can it possibly get better?

Breathe…..

Goodnight, moon.

Roise up!  Toim for Brekky!!  We set sail for our 6 hour trip back to earth.

Sailing back to Airlie Beach

Hayman Island, where we stopped for lunch on the 3rd day.

Oiy will definitlee miss the Auzzies  hea in Ostrahliuh. It’s bean nealy foive weeks and oive lahved it hea. Cont think of a betta plice to foind betta beeches to meet moi mites (mates) in the bluddy heat of summah. Oiy will miss the wehds (words) these blokes use, loike dohdgy (dodgy) to descroibe a plice that isn’t quite roite, aw heaps which means lawts.  Oiy will miss moy brekky awf eggs, avocado and rawcket. I will miss saying Cheeahs (cheers) which means thahnks as well as good dahy. And oi promise to be bahck to this luvely lahnd.  Isn’t it qwait fahntahstic that you have been speaking this paragraph out loud and troying out yaw Auzzie aksent???  Gotcha.  :))